mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
