You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
