Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Having a random hookup so left but love u
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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