she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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