We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
