Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
