she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
