mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We left the knife in your bed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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