I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
