I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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