my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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