he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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