Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
