Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
