he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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