So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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