If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
