So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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