Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
