Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
