There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize
