i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
