Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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