You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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