wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
