P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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