That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
