all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
