i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
