And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
