Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That accounts for only three of the penises
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
