He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
