the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Found your dick twin last night
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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