I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
