that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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