Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
