i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
