Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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