So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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