We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
