She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I party with great urgency now.
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