That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
