she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
