I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
