Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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