That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
