In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We need to get me chipped asap
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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