you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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