Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
