So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
