im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
